I know people who know people, but that’s not what this is about
Left of RBG in this picture is my uncle Michael, who was the dean of Roger Williams University at this particular moment that the Notorious was visiting the school. He was photographed by the local paper, which was shared in a family group chat. This particular chat included my brother, who does not always give his two cents, but when he does it lands like two dollars. Jacob interjected that our aunt Laurie looked well in the photo. Despite also being an incredible Jewish scholar of American law, my aunt Laurie looks nothing like the late justice. She took the mistake gracefully. I miss living in the same town as them, but I am happy to not be required to sleep in a parka.
I successfully made pita bread today, which isn’t the exciting start to this entry that I thought it would be. It does taste good though. I’ve been editing my past writings, and really enjoying the process of putting words to paper. I have found another thing that quiets my body. That is very nice.
I feel like I am gaining confidence in social situations that I really lost over the pandemic. Or maybe my world is just at a better size? Either way, I realized last night that I haven’t felt afraid in a while. Anxious, most certainly. Like my blood was going to shoot out of my pores, of course. But not afraid. I used to be very afraid that I would die suddenly. Or be in pain. I’m not really concerned about that now. Of course, I do not want to die and, given the choice, I’d most likely avoid pain, but I’m satisfied in the knowledge that these are things I will experience and then they will be over. I’m knowing myself better these days. I’m growing faster than I ever have before. I feel like a self improving AI, like I’m looking at my source code and optimizing. I’m designing my own mind. Of course, there are glitches and the hardware is old and shitty and wasn’t really made to do any of this. Still though, I feel as if I’ve found a way to observe myself and make edits. Things are getting better every day.
I’ve got a lot of projects on my mind, and no interest in talking about any of them. I’ll share when it feels satisfying to. I’ve finished three books this week so far; there’s a real threat that I could finish another two. I’m glad to be reading again. If I can’t be a student I’ll be satisfied to be a learner.
I’m thinking about proposing cooking courses at the community college. Someone who will not be named seems to think that I am not a good enough cook. Just the doubt I need to succeed!
No Man’s Sky just had a huge update and now you can build your own ship. This will likely be the event that derails everything I have worked for in the last few months. But, if you can’t get really excited about salvaging parts to build a spaceship of your own, what are you really working for anyway?
